Sounds easy enough, but often not that easy for us to answer, at least correctly in any case.

Why do I say this? Well for a start, when put on the spot a lot of people can’t come up with a precise answer of what they actually want. They don’t spend enough time figuring it out because they run on autopilot from day to day and assume that their destiny is not within their control.

As your results in life come from the actions you take – or don’t take – that would suggest things are within your control, and whist some events you may not be able to influence at the time, you can for sure influence how you react, respond or feel about the situation.

The second challenge a lot of people have when asked the question “What do you want?” – they actually start to list out what they don’t want!

Top Tip: The most effective way to think is to think about what you do want, as opposed to what you don’t want, and so anything you think of a say “I wish this didn’t happen….” or “I don’t want this happening…..” etc simply turn it into a positive statement and think about what you do want.

Why? Because the mind generates your thoughts and ideas and reactions based on what you think about, but it is not effective at processing negatives. For example “Don’t think about an apple”, too late you’ve already done it!

So, when we say “I don’t want to be scared when making sales calls” it focuses the mind on all the aspects of being scared and makes the situation worse.

Instead saying “I want to be calm and confident when making sales calls” or “I will be calm…..” etc is a much better place to start.

Practise this over the next two weeks, when you start commenting to yourself or others about what you don’t want in your life switch it around and instead think about what you do want! It feels a lot better and gives your mind a direction to work towards.

If you have a question for Mark Rhodes, send it to experts@the-eba.com